Zombieland: Total Insanity
by Cigarettes-and-Knives
Summary: Tallahassee and the gang go to places and go totally crazy! co-written with AbigailBreslinRocks13! crack-fic! totally random, funny and awesome!
1. Drunken Mall Party!

First off, the disclaimer: we don't own anyone, there, happy?

now, i'd like to thank AbigailBreslinRocks13 for helping me with this totally random fic! she wrote some parts and i wrote the others, here are the thingies:

_italics: what abr13 wrote_

**bold: what i wrote**

**** means a curse word. please read and review!**

**Roanoke is an OFC people! if you don't know of her, please read Zombieland: Cherish What's Left Over written by me. enjoy!**

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Zombieland: Total Insanity

Part Uno: Drunken Mall Party!

**"Check out this awesome mall! It's huge!" Everyone's faces lit up as they stepped into the larged mall. "Wait a minute guys, there could be zombies and... ahh, no one listens to me anyway." said Columbus when he noticed the others go off on their own in a heartbeat.**

**"Liquor baby!" yelled Tallahassee as he spotted a store chock full of alcohos. "This is dangerous territory, Tallahassee, you get one bottle, you hear me?!" Roanoke yelled to him while he went rampant through the small store. Roanoke rolled her eyes and sighed. She was about to go find a Hot Topic until Wichita raced past her into the alcohol store, dragging Columbus behind her. "What are you--"**

**"Can't beat 'em, join 'em!" shouted Wichita, headed for the scotch. Roanoke thought for a minute then shrugged, strolling into the shop. Tallahassee was downing shot after shot like a mad man, but not mad enough. "Sissy, let me show you how a pro does it." she Roanoke boasted, grabbing a shot glass and pouring some of Earth's finest booze into it. "You're on." grinned Tallahassee, filling his glass again. The two downed shot after shot, then soon it went from shot to whole bottles of alchohol.**

**Meanwhile, in the corner of the store, Wichita was on her third bottle and Columbus was choking down his.... first. "C'mon, Columbus, drink like a man!" said Wichita, slapping her boyfriend on the back. "Yeah, none of that 'one and done' crap!" yelled Tallahassee, beginning to get a bit loopy, while Roanoke was grinning like mad at the thought of Florida drunk.**

_While everyone was getting drunk off their heads, Little Rock stood outside the liquor store and thought for a while. She shrugged and ran off to find something to do. She landed in front of an arts and crafts store and she had a cheeky grin on her face. "Jackpot!" She ran in and threw everything on the floor then found lots, and I mean lots of paint in the back room. She ran in and grabbed as many paint cans as she could. She brought them out and ran to a matress store and started to pour red paint all down the aisle and she jumped on a springy bed and got green paint and threw it in the air. It landed on all the beds near her and even on her. Little Rock stopped and smiled with green paint all down her face and clothes. "IT'S THE LUCK OF THE IRISH!" she started laughing uncontrollably and threw all the paint on the beds and all the walls and made a collage._

_Meanwhile, with the other four, Wichita was downing whiskey and demanding Columbus to act like a man. "Come on Columbo! Grow a set and drink!" Columbus whimpered and tried downing another small glass of scotch. But with Tallahassee and Roanoke, they were completely out of it and still having a shot contest. They were talking gibberish and random things that had nothing to do with anything. "Tallahassee, I'm on rabbits! And you're only on pens!" yelled Tallahassee. "What are you talking about, girl?! Turn the volume up!" Roanoke started laughing like a five-year old and started singing 'Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. She fell to the floor and was still laughing while Tallahassee stared at her like she was a Twinkie. "Come to papa, you delicious bastard!" he jumped on Roanoke and started to lick her forehead. "Talla!!! What the hell are you doing?!" Tallahassee started growling then he started... making out with Roanoke! Roanoke furrowed her eyebrows then went along with it. Truly, she was loving every minute of it. When this was happening, Wichita skipped over to the two and her jaw dropped. She pointed at them and started giggling. "Annnndddd they call it... Twinkie loooooovvvveee!" she sat down and kept drinking her whiskey. "Columbus... help me?" Columbus stumbled over to his girlfriend and helped her up, they both kissed and went back to their drinking._

_When Tallahassee was done, he realized that it wasn't a twinkie, but Ronaoke. "**, Roanoke! You are good!" Roanoke blushed. "I know. I tend to not do anything and let the boys come to me." she flased a smile and got up to sit on the counter. "Man I'm tired. Night, night." she fell asleep on the counter._

_While Roanoke was still going ape** in the bed store, she got tired and fell asleep in a puddle of blue._

**Tallahassee glared at Roanoke with a drunk expression on his face. "Oh no you don't! We've go this whole-hic-mall to ourselves!" Roanoke shot upwards. "That's right! I forgot about Avril Lavigne! I'm coming Avril!" she yelled, running out of the store to God-knows-where. Tallahassee stared after her and ran after her for some drunken reason. "Awwww, he's going after the -hic- girl! Way to go, Florida!" Wichita shouted after them. Columbus leaned on his girlfriend for support when he spotted a sporting goods place. "We're going to play baseball!" he shouted, running towards the store, leaving Wichita behind to take another swig of her drink.**

**Roanoke ran around the mall complex until she found what she was looking for. She ran into the sweets store and began to dance like a child. "Talla! I found the stash! Now the government can keep the Cheetos at bay so they won't take over Alaska with giraffe democracy!" she shouted, waving her arms and skipping up and down the aisle of Wonka products. "WHERE ARE THE EFFING TWINKIES!?" roared Tallahassee, knocking down a display stand. Roanoke looked around and spotted a single twinkie sitting in it's wrapper on the counter. "I found one, Talla!" she said, grabbing it. Tallahassee sped towards her, which startled her and made her fling the twinkie out of her hand and out of the store, where it landed in a fountain. "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!" screamed Tallahassee, running after the now soaked twinkie. "You killed my Hostess treat!" he yelled at Roanoke who was staring at the drowning dessert. Tallahassee tackled her to the ground. She managed to get up and kick him in the gut. She loomed over top of him. "I am a brown -hic- belt mister! You're underestimating my abilities!" she yelled before collapsing on top of him and falling asleep with his arm wrapped around her.**

**The peace was soon disturbed though, Columbus and Wichita ran through the mall towards them carrying tons of baseball equipment. "Hey guys! We're going to play baseball!" Wichita yelled.**

_Roanoke shot up and stumbled out of the sweets store and followed Columbus and Wichita. "I call batting!" Roanoke yelled after them. Wichita turned to face a stumbling Ronaoke running from side-to-side. She gave a bubbly laugh and had a thought on her mind. "Where's my sister?!" Tallahassee was running the best he could without falling over. "She's-hic. In Wonderland! Haha!" Columbus stopped and raised his eyebrows. "Guys! The mad hatter is around the corner!" he skipped off into the towards the center part of the mall. "Follow the yellow brick road!" Wichita laughed and followed after Columbus. Roanoke called behind her. "I call Tallahassee on my team!"_

_"Who called me?!" Tallahassee yelled. Roanoke rolled her eyes and ran after Columbus and Wichita._

_When they all landed in the middle of the mall, Wichita screamed. "Little Rock! Come out before the cat in the hat gets you!" Roanoke started laughing. At that moment in time, a matress flew through the air and landed in front of them. The four stared at it and tilted their heads to the side as if to say 'where the hell did that come from?' Straight after that, Little Rock sprinted and landed on the matress which sent it surfing straight down the stairs. "WOO-HOO!" Roanoke's jaw dropped. "Oh my God! She's matress surfing! Friggen' awesome!" they heard a crash, followed by a 'Whoa! Son of a--" Columbus walked over to the top of the stairs and saw the matress flipped over on top of a toppled over hot-dog stand. "Wow! Little Rock got guts!" he gave a bubbly laugh and at that, Little Rock came out from under the matress, her head covered in ketchup and mustard... and paint. She limped up the stairs. "Okay! I have to do that again!" Columbus stopped her. "No! We're playing baseball!" Little Rock nodded. "Alright, I call referee!" she ran to back to the center of the mall and flopped down onto the floor beside her sister. "Haha! Little Rock, why are you covered in paint?!" Tallahassee wiped some ketchup and mustard on his fingers and licked it off. "And mustard and ketchup?" Little Rock smirked and rolled her eyes. "I landed in a hot-dog stand, duh! Oh, and I had a paint fight with myself 'cause I had nothing better to do. The other four howled with laughter. Wichita interjected. "So guys... GAME ON!" Columbus and Roanoke grabbed a bat each and Wichita grabbed a baseball. Tallahassee stood in the background, getting ready to catch a flying ball as best a drunk could. Little Rock grabbed a whistle and blew into it. "PLAY BALL!" Roanoke stood with the bat and hit it against the ground two times. "Hey batter batter batter... SWING!" She swund the bat when Wichita threw the ball towards her. It sailed through the air and Tallahassee just missed it._

_He walked right behind Columbus when his turn came because he knew he wouldn't hit the bal, and he was right. When Wichita threw the ball, Columbus swung the bat all the way around and it smacked Tallahassee right in the face. Columbus felt the vibration and his eyes widened. "**. That's not good." Tallahassee was lying on the ground motionless. "OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED TALLAHASSEE!" Roanoke screamed, about to strangle Columbus. Tallahassee got up slowly and cracked his neck. "It's go time, **!" Columbus screamed and Tallahassee raced after him down the mall halls. "Get back here, Spit-**!" He ran as fast as he could but couldn't catch Columbus, he did, after all, have the best cardio in the business. Columbus kept running and he was yelling. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, Tallahassee, don't kill me!" Tallahassee stopped running because he was out of breath. "Okay-stop-running."_

_Meanwhile, with the three girls, Roanoke stood up and announced. "Well, Little Rock, since Tallahassee's busy, I'm going to teach you the wonders of Avril Lavigne. C'mon. You too, Wichita." Little Rock followed Roanoke down to the control room of the mall. "Okay. Perfect. Cameras. Check. Mic. Check and... Computer... CHECK!" Roanoke ran over to the computer and plugged in her iPod that she had with her. "Alright Little Rock, prepare to be blown away. By the power of rock!" She put on 'Sk8r Boy'. She started singing along to the music blaring at it's loudest on the mall speakers. Little Rock started nodding her head to the beat and started dancing. "How awesome is she?!" Roanoke yelled. "She's a friggen' legend!" yelled Wichita. "I know right!?" She is my hero! That's where I got the influence from!" Roanoke did air guitar. Wichita and Little Rock joined in and Tallahassee and Columbus walked into the control room, they looked at each other and shrugged. They joined in too. The four were still out of it, but not as bad as before._

**After the song went off, Roanoke almost had a heart attack because her favorite Avril song came on. "Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend, no way, no way! I think you need a new one!" she shouted along with the song. The whole time she was singing though, it seemed as if she was singing the song to Tallahassee, though he was too drunk to notice, but Wichita noticed and she gave a small, soft smile.**

**Once the five became sweaty from dancing and playing too much baseball, they left the soundtrack playing on the speakers and left the control room. They stumbled around the mall for a while until they passed a Victoria's Secret's. Tallahassee stopped walking and Roanoke stopped soon after to see what he was up to. "Tallahassee!? What are you doing?!" she asked, walking towards him. He pointed to an advertisement poster for a skimpy biknini. "You'd look good in that." he said. Roanoke made a disgusted face and grabbed him by the arm. "No more alcohol for you, no more, no exceptions!" she shouted. "Guys!" she shouted to the others ahead of them. They turned around. "We're banning Florida from alcohol, we're doing an intervention!" she yelled. Wichita nodded and smiled. Like that was ever going to happen.**

**Suddenly, they heard a crash and tons of zombies poured into the mall. Roanoke screamed. "They're here to sell us insurance! Noooo!" she screamed, waving her fists in the air. "Go! Go! Run!" shouted Wichita. The five ran through the mall as fast as possible away from the horde chasing after them. "Hey, check it out!" yelled Little Rock, pointing at one of those cars you see for sale in the mall. "Let's go!" yelled Columbus, running up to the car door. The keys were in it. Thank God. The five got in the car and Wichita slammed on the gas. They sped through the mall until Roanoke realized. "We're upstairs." she said, and just then, Tallahassee shouted. "Escalator!" Wichita turned around in her seat. "What?!" she screamed. "Escalator! everyone in the car shouted. The car sped of the edge and soared through the air, all the while, everyone was screaming their heads off. The car landed surprisingly smoothly and Wichita slammed her foot on the brakes. Everyone was frozen with terrified looks on their faces. Roanoke managed to pry one hand off of Tallahassee's shirt and the other off the door handle... along with the handle. Tallahassee had released one hand from Roanoke's jeans but ripping a big hole in them in the process. Everyone had to work at uncurling their fingers, thank gosh the escalator was keeping the zombies busy.**

**Wichita drove out of the mall and pulled up to their van. "We're never going to a mall again." said Columbus said evenly. "Agreed." everyone said in unison. They all had a pretty good day though, Tallahassee had ended up sleeping his drunkness off with his head in Roanoke's lap, which made her secretly happy. Little Rock had fun despite her hair being madded together due to paint. Columbus had gotten drunk for the first time, hit Tallahassee in the face with a bat and didn't die, and had kissed Wichita on several occasions so he was happy. Wichita enjoyed herself in general, she had driven a car off the side of an upstairs mall wall and lived. And Tallahassee was happy that he had found a liquor haven, ran rampant throughout the mall and was secretly content that he made out with Roanoke, although, he wouldn't tell anyone that, she was, after all, still a brocoli-headed nerd. When everyone but Roanoke and Wichita were asleep, Wichita smirked. "You liked what happened in the liquor store didn't you?" she inquired. "Erm... what did I do? I don't remember anything before playing baseball. "You made out with your crush, he said you tasted like twinkies." Wichita put simply. "I WHAT?!" she screamed, making the others yell and grumble at her and fall back to sleep. Roanoke lay her elbow on the door and propped her head up with her hand. She stared dreamily out the window. "Well, did you like it?" urged Wichita. Roanoke smirked. "I wouldn't mind going to malls more often." she said.**

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**Thank you for readin our fic! please review! and yes, iknow it's crack! lol!**


	2. Water Park From Hell

Disclaimer: we don't own anything, i own Roanoke. 

AbigailBreslinRocks13 helped me co-write this, we've divided it into parts we wrote each.

_What ABR13 wrote is in italics._

**What I wrote is in bold.**

**Roanoke is an ofc, please read, enjoy, review.**

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_Water Park From Hell_

_"This water park is off the chain!" Wichita yelled. Columbus stared blankly at the huge, dry water slide, and scanned the rest of the rides. "There's not a hoping hell I'm going in there." Tallahassee squinted at the sunset and looked at Roanoke. "You wanna go in there?" Roanoke raised her eyebrows. "Yeah! It looks awesome!!!" Little Rock looked up at Roanoke and smiled. "Prepare, to get wet." Roanoke chuckled and ruffled Little Rock's hair. Wichita looked at Roanoke who had a look on her face as if to say 'this is gonna be great'. She walked over to the gate of the water park and saw the lock on the chain. Columbus looked relieved. "Oh, too bad. It's locked. Let's go." Little Rock gave him death glare and Wichita went up to Roanoke and whispered something in her ear. As a response, Roanoke opened the door to the backseat of the Hummer and grabbed her sword. Columbus widened his eyes and bit his lips. Roanoke handed Wichita the sword and Wichita slammed it down on the chains that were holdin the gates in place. Little Rock smiled and ran into the water park. She shouted from behind her. "It's clear of any undead freaks!" Then the other four followed her in. Tallahassee walked over to the control room which controlled the water and the supplies. "Hmmm... What could I do with this?" He turned on all the water rides and Little Rock and Wichita both gave out bubbly laughs. "This. Is going to be fun." Wichita put her arm around her younger sister. "Race you to the Ice Blast!" She sprinted off in the direction of the water slide. Little Rock dropped her jaw. "Hey! No fair! You got a head start!" She ran after her older sister. Columbus then shrugged and followed them._

_When Tallahassee walked out of the control room, Roanoke was leaning against the wall beside it. He decided to go freak her out. He tip-toed over and squeezed her pressure points. Roanoke screamed. "JESUS! What-" She turned around and noticed Tallahassee. "Oh. Hi." Tallahassee nodded. "Fun mall, huh?" Roanoke widened her eyes. 'damn it!' she thought. 'He knows! Oh, great.' "Oh yeah. It was awesome." Tallahassee jerked his eyebrows. He mumbled something so Roanoke wouldn't hear. "I can't believe I thought you were a hostess treat." Roanoke furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" Tallahassee opened his mouth to say something but said something else. "I said. I think I need to wash my feet." Roanoke wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Okay then. Let's go find the other guys." She ran off in the direction that Columbus was headed._

_Roanoke got to the Ice Blast and all she could see at the top of the ride, was Little Rock trying to push Columbus down the hole. "NO! NO! NO! LITTLE ROCK! I HAVE A PHOBIA OF--" Before he could finish, Wichita slammed into Columbus and it sent him flying down the hole. You could hear what sounded like a little girl scream, but, that was just Columbus. Roanoke shouted up to them. "Hey guys! Room for one more?!" Wichita and Little Rock were waving for here to come up. She ran up the stairs and saw the huge plunge hole that you fell through. "Whoa! Ohhhh! Can I go first?!" Little Rock nodded and smiled. Roanoke jumped through the hole. You could hear her yell. "Kawah Bungaa!!" Little Rock and Wichita burst out laughing. When Roanoke was near the bottom of the tunnel, she could see the light at the end disapear. "Uh-oh." She tried to stop herself but the water made the slide too slippery. When she got to the bottom, she was expecting a zombie to bite her leg off or something, but it was Tallahassee who grabbed her and started tickling her. When he stopped, they both looked over at a ride called 'The CorkScrew'. Roanoke jumped up and sprinted in her soaked clothes and sprinted towards 'The CorkScrew'. They raced eachother up the stairs and unfortunately, Tallahassee won, because he practically leaped up three steps each time. When they got to the top. They both looked through the black hole that you fall through. Tallahassee backed away. "Ladies first." Roanoke backed away even further. "Men before." Tallahassee then looked through the hole again and said "Why don't you go first? You are the man anyways." Roanoke gritted her teeth and when Tallahassee had his back turned, she took his feet out from underneath him and he flew through the air and slid through the air._

**"Holy crap!" Tallahassee yelled, flying down the slide, his hat flew off his head and Roanoke caught it in mid-air when she went down after him. At the end of the slide, Tallahassee stumbled and Roanoke landed on top of him. "Whoo! That was fun!" she shouted. "Would you get off of me?" complained Tallahassee. "Hmph, I'm taking your hat." she said flatly, getting up and jogging off to another ride. She turned around. "Come on, guys! I'm going to get changed, my clothes are soaked!" she yelled. Little Rock, Wichita and Columbus came down the slide and Wichita and Little Rock jogged off after Roanoke. "That ** took my hat." said Tallahassee. "Well, she'll be in a bathing suit, you'd like that wouldn't you, Tallahassee?" smirked Columbus. "No, she's got nothin' on her." Tallahassee gritted his teeth.**

**"Got nothing on who?" came Roanoke's voice. She walked out of the dressing room. She wore a tight green bikini and her wet hair was tousled like it normally was. She wore Tallahassee's hat on her head. Tallahassee's jaw dropped, it seemed as if she was walking in slow motion. "Well whataya know? She does have somethin' on her." Tallahassee smirked. Roanoke frowned and kicked Florida between the legs. He fell to the ground. She bent over so her chest was right in his face. "What? You thought these were fake?" she inquired. Tallahassee grimaced and glared at her. Little Rock came running out of the dressing room in a one-piece and Wichita followed in her floral patterned two-piece. Columbus swallowed hard. "So." said Roanoke. "Time for some surfin'." she smiled before racing off to the section where the surfboards were by the wave pool. "**, give me my hat!" yelled Tallahassee, chasing after her. The others laughed and followed behind.**

**Wichita went to a control box and set the wave setting to 'extreme'. "You guys ready?" Roanoke and Little Rock nodded and they swam out with their boards into the deeper waters. "Alright, first one off their boards loses!" shouted Wichita. "Go!" The two surfed and Roanoke wasn't giving up. "Who do you want to win?" asked Tallahassee to Columbus. He shrugged. "I don't care." he said. Tallahassee smirked. I'm rootin' for pipsqueak. Florida had an idea. "Hey, cabbage patch!" Tallahassee yelled to Roanoke. She looked at him but concentrated on surfing. Tallahassee proceeded to take off his shirt slowly. "Hey baby!" he said. Roanoke's jaw dropped and she fell off her board faster than you could say 'twinkie'.**

_Little Rock widened her eyes and lost her balance on her board. She started wobbling around, then seeing Roanoke flat on her face at the bottom of the wave pool didn't help. "Oh God!" Little Rock flew backwards off her board and went deep under the water. Wichita widened her eyes and so did the two boys. "Tallahassee?" Columbus said wearily. "I think you just killed Roanoke and Little Rock." Tallahassee gritted his teeth. "No I didn't, give them time." About two minutes later, Little Rock came up from the bottom of the pool screaming. "Help! Somebody help!" At that, Tallahassee sprinted and jumped into the pool, following Little Rock down to a passed out Roanoke. Tallahassee was about to curse, but he remembered he was under water. Little Rock had a worried look in eyes. Even under water, you could tell she was crying. Tallahassee grabbed Roanoke and swam to the surface. Little Rock swam up first and started coughing like mad. Wichita jumped in and swam out to help her sister. "Hey! You okay?!" Little Rock shook her head and kept coughing. When the two sisters got to the platform again, Wichita sat Little Rock down and started to pat her back. Then, up came Tallahassee with Roanoke. He swam with her over his shoulder and lay her down on the platform. The first simplist thing he did was shout in her eyes to see if she would wake up. No movement. "Okay, I have to do the Kiss of Life. Great." He lay his lips on Roanoke's and started to get air into her lungs. Finally after about five minutes, she burst to life, coughing up water. Everyone let out a huge breath they didn't know they were holding in. Wichita smiled and Little Rock hugged her really tightly. Roanoke hugged Little Rock back and ran her fingers through her hair. When she realeased her, Columbus gave her a small hug too. Then when she turned to Tallahassee, he was sistting there quiet, he twitched his nose and Roanoke decided to speak first. "Thanks." Tallahassee nodded and then gave her his hat. Roanoke chuckled and put it on her head. Then Wichita spoke up. "So, guys. Who wants to have a water fight?" Everyone joined in together and all cheered. "Yeah!!" Wichita led them all over to a booth that had huge water guns in it. Little Rock ran in first. "I call dibs on the red one!" Wichita grabbed the purple one and Columbus grabbed a blue one. Roanoke ran in and scanned for a green one. "I got my one!" Which left Tallahassee with the black one. Wichita made the rules. "Okay, bases. Tallahassee, your base is from the fence on the right, to the Loop-De-Loop. Roanoke, you're over there on the left beside the Ice Blast. Columbus, you're on the south port beside the wave pool. Little Rock, you're on the north port up until the plunge pool. I'm over at the far side beside the water slide. That gives us all access to water." Everyone nodded and accepted their positions. "Okay, get into position!" Everyone ran to their ports and filled their water guns. "READY!!! GO!!!!" Tallahassee sprinted and got behind a wall to hide from Roanoke. He then ran over to her side when it was clear. He couldn't see her. Damn it. Roanoke was doing the same for Tallahassee but couldn't see him either. Columbus just ran and hid because he didn't want to get any wetter than he was now. Little Rock was smart and jumped into the plunge pool, so if anyone tried squirting her, she could just go under water. Wichita ran around corners and dove behind the water slide._

_Roanoke ran over to the Ice Blast and saw Little Rock sitting on the edge of the plunge pool. "Gotcha'." She whispered to herself. She snuck over and hit Little Rock with water. She screamed and fell into the plunge pool. Roanoke smirked. "Whoops." She ran off before Little Rock could see who hit her. Little Rock saw her older sister hiding at the side of the water slide. She smiled and slowly climbed onto the side of the plunge pool. She pumped her water gun and aimed for her sister's back. But instead it hit her in the face. Wichita wiped the water off her face and looked over at her sister. "This is war sis!" Little Rock gave a cheeky grin and laughed, then jumped into the water again._

_Tallahassee cheated and ran over to Columbus' base. He searched for him and found him sitting curled up in a ball in the corner. Tallahassee looked at him and started laughing, Columbus looked at him helplessly and Tallahassee aimed his water gun right for Columbus' face. He squirted it and his curly hair matted his face. "Thanks, Tallahassee." Tallahassee shouted behind him. "Pleasure doing business with-" When he looked in front of him again, he found Roanoke aiming her water gun right at him. "Make another move, you're gonna get wet and very cold." She had a smirk on her face and Tallahassee gently put his water gun on the ground. Roanoke pumped her gun, but Tallahassee then moved swiftly and picked his up again, which was already pumped and squirted it at Roanoke's bare stomach. "Okay! You asked for it!" Roanoked whistled and Wichita and Little Rock came from around the corner, their arms filled with water balloons. "I told you, make another move and you get wet and cold." Tallahassee curved his lips and nodded in defeat. But he quickly squirted Wichita and Little Rock, he tried to run but Roanoke cut him off. "Hit it girls!" Wichita and Little Rock started throwing water balloons at Tallahassee and he kept squirming. "Owh! That's cold! Eh Ah! Eh! Ah! STOP IT!" When the water balloons were finished, they used the last of their water in their water guns. "Okay! They're your secret weapons! I get it." The three girls smiled and chuckled then ran into a changing room to get dried off again._

**In the changing room, Roanoke shook her green hair like a wet dog. The girls squealed as water was sprayed on them. "I can't believe you almost drowned." said Wichita, drying herself off. "I can, I just can't believe Tallahassee knew how to do CPR." Said Roanoke, her eyes wide. Little Rock laughed and ruffled her hair with a towel. "I'm going to go make Columbus go down the 'Water Dragon'." she laughed. "Don't kill him." said Wichita and Roanoke in unison. Little Rock laughed and ran out the room. "So." said Wichita. "Do you have to kiss Tallahassee every time we go somewhere?" she asked. "Shut up, it was CPR." Roanoke defended. "Get real, Ro, it's called the KISS of life!" Wichita argued. Roanoke rolled her eyes. "Whatever, come on, let's go see if Columbus hasn't had a panic attack." she chuckled.**

**The girls walked out of the room and Roanoke was ambushed by Columbus, Tallahassee and Little Rock with a power hose. Roanoke screamed and when they stopped, she looked at Little Rock bewildered. "Traitor! This is mutiny!" she shouted. Wichita's jaw dropped. "Sis, how could you?!" she yelled. "Zombies!" yelled Columbus. "Not now, Columbus, we were at the climax of the story!" complained Roanoke. "No, really, zombies!" he yelled. Everyone turned around to see a horde coming after them. "Run!" yelled Wichita. "Go, go, go, up the slide! That'll hold 'em back a while!" commanded Little Rock. They ran to the 'Corkscrew' and ran up the stairs. When the zombies were up the steps, everyone zoomed down the slide, Roanoke blushed at the closeness of Tallahassee on her back shirtless, but he couldn't see her face, thank God. They stumbled off the slide and they laughed at the zombies struggle down the slide. They then ran to the wave pool, which was still roaring with large waves. "To the deep end! We'll shake a few off, they can't swim!" yelled Wichita. As the water got deeper, it was harder to move and they had to begin swimming, Tallahassee had to carry Little Rock on his back, the water was so deep. Roanoke looked over her shoulder to find only a few left over zombs chasing after them. "Keep it up! C'mon, get to the Hummer!" she yelled.**

**They ran to the Hummer and hopped in the car. There wasn't really anything to worry about anymore since there were only a few zombies limping after them. Tallahassee let out a deep sigh and leaned his head back in the seat. "No more water parks." said Little Rock. "I had a surprisingly good time though." said Roanoke, being optimistic. Tallahassee scoffed. "Only because--"**

**"You shut up, besides the fact that I almost drowned." she said. Tallahassee looked at her curiously, water was still dripping off her pale face and she was still covered in only that small bikini. "You, uh, gonna take off that wet ol' bathing suit?" he asked with his trademark smirk. "Perv, and no, I wouldn't give you that pleasure."**

**"You're drippin' on my leather seat, you want to get on the roof or maybe stay here and dry off"**

**"Shut your face and get us out of here." said Wichita.**

**"Onward! To our next adventure!" shouted Little Rock.**

**"Please, no." whined Columbus.**

**"Shut up." everyone told each other.**

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**Thank you for reading, praise me and AbigailBreslinRocks13! review please! if you can guess where the gang is going next, you get a cookie!**


	3. A Zoo Too Far

_Hey guys! It's AbigailBreslinRocks13 here! And this time.... im puttin music into the chapter. I dunno why... Just felt i should like, match what happens in it.... Ill put in when u can listen to it and stop it =) I also did a part where a part of it is in slow motion... So i did that underlined. =)_

**Hey guys! Slytherin Queen 1.30 here! Note, this chapter is a bit more angsty and emo and less cracky than the others, but it's still really good, don't worry, craziness will return in chapter 4! also, please note, my ofc, Roanoke, doesn't end up with Talla this quickly in my other fic, so don't worry your heads over on that! Enjoy and review!**

note:

_What AbigailBreslinRocks13 wrote is in italics!_

**What Slyth Queen 1.30 wrote is in bold!**

** means cuss word!

A Zoo Too Far!

_They were driving past a zoo and decided to check out if all the animals were still there. "Guys! Come on! Let's go!" Little Rock started tugging on Columbus' coat and tried pulling him in the entrance. "What? No! No! No! Little Rock! Stop!" Columbus tried pulling Little Rock off his coat. "My god Columbus! You're such an effing wimp!" Roanoke laughed. "Come on Little Rock. Let's go check it out!" Roanoke ran off with Little Rock into the zoo. Wichita scanned the hills and broken down cars on the road. Then Tallahassee clicked his fingers to snap her out of it. Then Columbus walked on with Wichita, while Tallahassee kept watch from behind them. Columbus ran up to Wichita and held her hand. She smiled back at him. "So, Columbus. You like animals?" Columbus was a little confused. "Well... One of my new rules is, stay away from animals, 'cause they could have rabies." Wichita rolled her eyes. "You didn't answer my question idiot." She chuckled. "Okay, to be honest... Nope." Wichita widened her eyes and dropped her jaw. "YOU DON'T LIKE ANIMALS!!!" She yelled so loud that, parrots, yes, parrots flew out of the trees." Little Rock and Roanoke obviously heard this, because they came sprinting back. "Who doesn't like animals?!?!?!" Little Rock shouted. Wichita pointed at Columbus. "Awk. I sprinted back here for nothing." Columbus furrowed his eyesbrows. "What's that supposed to mean?!" Little Rock turned around and put her hands on her hips. "Oh come on Columbus! There's no surprise that you don't like animals. Your rules alone just practically tell your story!" Little Rock smirked and so did Roanoke. _

_Tallahassee then butted in. "She's gotta point there." Columbus let out a loud sigh. "Come on. Let's go then." Little Rock smiled and ran on with Roanoke again. The two ended up infront of the monkeys. Roanoke looked at Little Rock and raised her eyebrows, along with a smile. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Little Rock had a sly smile on her face and nodded. "Let's do it!" Roanoke ran with Little Rock round to the entrance office to grab the keys and came back again. "MONKEYS!! PREPARE TO BE FREED!!!" Roanoke shouted. Little Rock laughed and the monkeys went crazy. Roanoke unlocked the gate to let the monkeys out, and they came flying out. Swinging from trees and vines. Not to mention jumping on people. Columbus turned round and saw a monkey headed straight for him so he freaked out and sprinted away, over to the tigers, not knowing where the hell he was, until he saw the tigers. "Great." The tigers all ran over to the wall Columbus was standing at and tried to get at him. He screamed and Wichita ran up to him and laughed. "They're blocked of Columbus! Now penguins and bears! They're awesome animals!" Columbus shrugged and at that Tallahassee came running up to them. "Guys! Run! I let the crocodiles loose! And they're hunger!!" Wichita smirked and ran to the bears. Then Little Rock and Roanoke came running. "We let out the giraffes!!" Little Rock yelled and chuckled at the same time. They ran up and saw Wichita running from side to side. They stopped and looked at each other, then Wichita. "Penguins or bears. Penguins or bears. Penguins or bears?! Aw screw this! Unleash the hyenas!" Little Rock laughed and ran up to her sister to help her get the hyenas out. "Holy moly! I have an awesome idea!" Wichita called. "What?!" Roanoke and Little Rock called. "We'll have a ** fight!" Everyone stopped and stared at her. "A WHAT?!" She then realised what she just said. "Oh God! No not that! I meant the bird things! They're called ** somethings right?! We'll make them fight each other!" Everyone looked at each other and rolled their eyes then ran on and followed her. Just when Wichita got to the cage, she noticed they were already dead. "Awh dammit. They killed each other already." She tilted her head and turned around. _

_When she turned around, she saw zombies, just about three or four, not that many. But, they were holding something... Wranglers. Oh no. Wichita widened her eyes and screamed. "Guys! Zombies on the-" She was interrupted by something wrapping around her leg. "AHHHHHH!!!! **!" Columbus heard this and sprinted to his girlfriend. "Oh no they didn't!" He ran up with his gun and shot the zombie dead. But they still had three more, swifter ones to get. "Thanks." Wichita kissed Columbus on the cheek and ran back down to Roanoke and Little Rock. "What happened?!" Roanoke called as she was running. "Zombie. Wranglers. Lethal. Freakin'. Weapons." Little Rock raised her eyebrows and looked behind her sister. "You mean that?!" She saw the three wranglers sprinting full pelt towards them, they all screamed, focused on the wranglers they carried. "How the hell do they know how to use those th-" Roanoke got interjected by a wrangler flying over her head and pulling tight around her waist. "GUYS!!! HELP!!!" Wichita and Little Rock turned round and saw Roanoke getting clawed at by the zombie. They both screamed, and at that Tallahassee came running down the hill to find Roanoke being clawed at._

_*SLOW MOTION*_

_Listen to... Paramore - All I Wanted._

_"**." Tallahassee ran down the hill to Roanoke and they screaming girls and tried getting at the zombie, but it kept hitting him and scrabbing him. Tallahassee narrowed his eyes and ran infront of the zombie, then got his gun and butted it in the head, sending it to the ground. Roanoke was on the ground with it. Limp. Not moving at all. Wichita and Little rock widened their eyes and stood there still. Freaked out. Tallahassee sat down and tried waking Roanoke up. "Little Rock! Go grab water from the penguin area!" Little Rock nodded and ran off. "Come on Roanoke. Wake up!" Wichita still stayed there, worried. When Little Rock got back, Columbus then found everyone and was standing there with them. Little Rock gave Tallahassee the water and he threw it over Roanoke. She jumped awake and everyone let out a long breath that they were holding in._

_Turn the music down. But not off._

_"Wow. How long was I out?" Tallahassee rolled his eyes and kissed Roanoke passionately. Little Rock and Columbus widened their eyes and dropped their jaws. When Tallahassee and Roanoke came apart. She dragged him behind the bathrooms. "Why'd you kiss me?!" Tallahassee shrugged. "For the kicks." Roanoke rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Well I'm not your toy. So if you want to flirt with someone. Flirt with Little Rock." Roanoke walked off to Columbus and the girls again._

**NEW MUSIC! TURN ON "I Can Do Better" by Avril Lavigne!**

**Roanoke looked hurt and Wichita dragged her off into a gift shop. "Alright, what's the haps? I figured you'd be jumping for joy or something." sighed Wichita. Roanoke looked down at her feet. "I don't like that bastard anymore." she growled. "What?! Why?" asked Wichita. "He's an ass, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, come on, let's just go let the elephants loose or something." Roanoke said glumly before shuffling out of the shop. Wichita's face turned from sorrow to rage. Tallahassee was going to get his.**

**Roanoke brushed past Columbus quite roughly and stormed off to a bathroom and slamming the door behind her. "What up with her?" asked Little Rock to Wichita. "She just got attacked by zombie wranglers, she's a little shaken." said Wichita, looking for a good cover up. "I'll talk to her." said Tallahassee, walking over to the restroom.**

**TURN THE MUSIC UP REALLY LOUD NOW!**

**"Hey?" said Tallahassee, pushing the door open. Roanoke jumped and squealed. Tallahassee froze. He saw her with a knife in her hand and blood oozing from her other wrist. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Tallahassee thundered, walking towards her and slapping the knife out of her hand. Roanoke's eyes were watering and her face was contorted. "Go away." she grumbled. "No, I won't, not until you tell me why we're going through all this crap again, I thought you were done with your kamikaze mission!" yelled Tallahassee. "GO THE HELL AWAY! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO CARE ABOUT ME! JUST GO AWAY!" Roanoke screamed, dropping to her knees and beginning to sob. "Please, just leave." she whispered. "Come on, Cabbage patch, don't be that way, what did I do?" Tallahassee asked. "Everything! I hope you feel good about yourself!**

_Tallahassee was taken back by this and slowly let out a long breath. He kneeled down infront of Roanoke and calmly talked to her. "Roanoke. You can't keep trying to kill yourself. It won't work. You'll make Little Rock and Wichita cry. You'll make Columbus depressed like he always is, and you'll make me-" Roanoke looked up with glassy eyes. "Happy to be alive." Roanoke dropped her jaw and her face went red with rage. She smacked Tallahassee across the face as hard as she could physically manage. She left her hand print on his cheek and he sat up against the wall of the bathroom while Roanoke ran out and sprinted up the hill to God-knows-where. Wichita walked out of the shop just in time to see Roanoke running up the hill. She ran to the bottom and saw little dots of red along the trail. She poked it with her finger and lifted her finger back up again to find it was blood. Wichita grinded her jaw and stormed into the bathroom to see Tallahassee up against the wall. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Tallahassee looked up with a red hand-mark on his face. "WHAT??!!" Wichita cracked her fingers. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT TO ROANOKE?!?!?!" Tallahassee shook his head in defeat. "Okay, I'll admit it... I LIKE HER!! ALRIGHT?! JUST ** OFF!!" Wichita widened her eyes and fell back a little. "Really?!" Tallahassee nodded. "Right. Okay. Well I'm going to leave you in here to, you know, get your manly pride back or whatever it is." Wichita scurried out of the bathroom and ran out to Little Rock. "Sis! You're a better runner than me! Go find Roanoke and I'll catch up!" Little Rock nodded and ran off up the hill, Wichita looked at Columbus with weary eyes and he walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead and assured her. "Everything will be alright. Okay. Do you hear me?" Wichita cried into his shoulder and nodded. They both sat down on a summer seat and waited and hoped that Little Rock could find Roanoke in time._

_Little Rock ran around everywhere calling. "Roanoke!!!! Come on!! Please come out!!! I'm freaking out here!!! Wichita's crying!!" She finally found her, in the pen with the lions. Her eyes widened when she saw the lions closing in on Roanoke. "O-Oh no." She ran over to the pen and saw the lions growling and closing in. "Come on kitty kitty...Come get your food." Little Rock tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "Get your food??? Where's the meat?" She looked back up again and saw Roanoke sticking her arm out, waiting for a lion to bite it. She widened her eyes. "NO! ROANOKE! DON'T!!!" Little Rock sprinted in, and just before Roanoke could do anything, she saw a leaping Little Rock. Little Rock then landed on Roanoke and started screaming in her face. "You're gonna' kill herself?! YOU'RE GONNA' TAKE YOU OWN LIFE?!?!" Roanoke started crying. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry Little Rock!" Little Rock grabbed Roanoke and trailed her out of the lion pen, crying. She slammed the pen gate and started inhaling and exhaling and pacing and put her hands on her forehead. Roanoke sat against the wall, still crying, and Little Rock then sat down beside her. "Why'd you do that Roanoke?" Roanoke shook her head. "It's too complicated. You just, wouldn't understand." Little Rock nodded and helped her up. "Come on. My sister's worried sick about you." Roanoke nodded and brought Roanoke back. Wichita looked up. "ROANOKE!!!" Wichita sprinted and hugged her then turned to her sister. "You're a live saviour sis."_

**Roanoke rocked back and forth and Wichita embraced her. "It's okay, c'mon, please tell me what's wrong. What did Florida do? I swear I'll put a bullet in his head."**

**"What happened to our lovely little crack fic? Where did all this angst and drama come from?" said Columbus. "Shut your face Columbus! You're ruining the dramatic effect!" yelled the girls. Roanoke went back to practically hyperventilating. "It's just--he's such--I mean--" she couldn't make a proper sentence and all she could do was cry. "Tallahassee! Get yer ass out here! You've got some explaining to do!" yelled Wichita. Roanoke pushed herself back and shook her head, her eyes wide. "No!" she said, pushing Wichita away and sprinting off again. "Wtf, Roanoke?!" yelled Wichita after her. Tallahassee came out of the bathroom, looking like death itself and he saw Roanoke running off again. He cursed under his breath and sprinted after her as fast as he could. His heart racked against his ribs and his lungs felt like popping but he didn't stop.**

**TURN ON "Cold" by Crossfade**

**He stopped short when Roanoke tripped and fell on her face. Of course. He jogged over to her and knelt down beside her. "Roanoke--" he began. "Go away! Perv! Just go away! Alright?! I'm sick of your crap!" she hissed. She raised her hand to smack him again when he caught her wrist. "Stop." he said in his southern drawl. "What do you keep playing me like a violin for? Just make up your mind. What do you want, just say it and stop playing this stupid mess." Roanoke pleaded. Tallahassee's face softened and he leaned in to place a kiss but she backed up. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?" Roanoke screamed. He didn't answer. "Answer me!" she cried. "I want you, baby. More than anything, I want you." Tallahassee replied, looking her dead in her eyes. Her jaw dropped and tears poured from her eyes, she threw herself into his arms and he held her as close as possible, scared she'd somehow get away. I'm sorry if I hurt you baby, that's the last thing I want." he said into her neck. He kissed her cheek and pulled her up into his arms. He stood up and began to walk back to the others with her nuzzled into his chest.**

**"I always get what I want." he said, smirking to the others who's faces lit up when they saw Roanoke safe and sound. Wichita smiled softly at the two. "You haven't gotten a twinkie in a while." commented Roanoke, looking up at him. "Twinkies can wait." the group gasped. "What? As long as she tastes like 'em." he said, nodding his head at Roanoke. Roanoke scowled and bit his neck as hard as possible. "Ow!? What was that for?!" he yelled. "For being a southern ass, now take me to the reptile house."**

**"Yes, your majesty." he smirked. The others laughed. "So, can we turn it back into a crack fic now?" said Columbus. "Shut your face." said everyone, walking towards the reptile house. "Story of my life." Columbus grumbled. "Hey, wait guys, I have a phobia of--"**

**"Nut up or shut up." said Tallahassee and Roanoke in unison.**

**"Well, I can think of one rule of Columbus' that's worth something." said Roanoke. "What?" asked Tallahassee. "Rule number 29, buddy system." Tallahassee scratched his jaw. "Well, we could get a seperate car and really put that rule into action." he said with his trademark smirk. "Not a chance, twinkie man."**

**"Yeah, well when you want me most, I'll say no, cabbage patch!"**

**"Like you'd be able to."**

**"Look guys! Roanoke! You want another pet snake?!" yelled Little Rock. "Ooh! Let me see!"**

**"Hey, Columbus, you want to hold him?!"**

**"No, Little Rock! That thing is huge!"**

**"Columbus, stop being a girl!"**

**"I have a phobia of--"**

**"Shut UP, Columbus!"**

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**Thanks for reading! please review, i won't spoil too much but I will say that they run into someone famous next chapter! good night or whatever time of day it is!**


	4. Music of The Devil

_Hey guys! It's AbigailBreslinRocks13! And, personally... I think you're going to love this chapter! Just saying! Hope u like it! And The Balck Eyed Peas and Avril LAvigne... *Wink wink* lol! Anyway... Enjoy! =)_  
**Hey dudes and dudetts! Slytherin Queen 1.30 here! This chapter is awesome! Btw, we don't own any songs by any artists or characters that aren't Roanoke in this chapter! Enjoy!**

Music of The Devil

_The five were on the road and Roanoke was looking out the window when she saw it. "OH MY GOD! Pull over! It's an Avril Lavigne concert!" Little Rock gasped and so did Wichita. "Oh no! First global warming... Now this!" They both chuckled and Roanoke gave them a death glare. "Don't go there." When they pulled over, Roanoke jumped out of the car first and sprinted to the stage. She ran up the steps and put her hand where her heart is. "I'm in love." She ran over to the drums and started whacking them, then she ran to Avril Lavigne's own guitar. "Oh my god! It's hers!" She ran up to the microphone and started singing 'The Best Damn Thing'. Little Rock stared and laughed and the rest just stared. When the others got on the stairs, there was a rustling behind the curtains. They all pointed their guns at it... And out she came. Yes. Avril Lavigne. "Hey, hey! Watch it! I'm not the undead!" Roanoke dropped her gun. "I think... I'm going to faint. Somebody catch me." When she fell backwards, everyone ignored her so she just fell._

**"Is she okay?" asked Avril. "Well, she's just probably your biggest fan ever so y'know." said Wichita. "I don't think she's waking up." said Little Rock, poking Roanoke's face. "I got this." said Tallahassee, walking over to Roanoke and stooping down beside her. "Hey Cabbage patch, Lavigne is leaving, I'm taking my shirt off and there are zombies everywhere!" he yelled in her ear. Roanoke shot upwards and knocked heads with Tallahassee. "Where, what, who, how!" Roanoke looked around frantically. "Liar, don't joke about things like that!" pouted Roanoke. "So, um, I hear you're a big fan of mine." spoke up Avril. "Oh, hell yes! I have like, everyone of your songs, posters, everything!" exclaimed Roanoke, hopping up to her feet. "Well it's nice to meet you, especially since I haven't seen a real human in ages!" Roanoke had the hugest smile on her face and she suddenly started to throw punches in the air. "OH MY GOD! IT'S AVRIL FLIPPIN' LAVIGNE!" she yelled. "Gosh, Roanoke, you sound like Tallahassee when we met Bill Murray." said Wichita. "You guys ran into Bill Murray!" exclaimed Avril. "Yeah, but this guy over here killed him." they all turned their heads and glared evilly at Columbus. "Ok, that was an accident! You guys can NOT hold that over my head forever!"**

**"Yes we can, now, you wanna sing?" said Avril. "Heck yes!" screamed Roanoke. "Grab a mic!" The two girls grabbed a mic each, Little Rock took back up, Wichita used her slight knowledge on how to play a guitar and Tallahassee and Columbus kind of stood and watched. "When you're out I don't know what to do! I do not think that I can wai-ai-ait to go over there to talk to you! I do not know what I should say and I walk out in silence, that's when I start to realize what you bring to my li-ife, damn this guy can make me cry-y-y-y! It's so contagious! I cannot get it out of my mind, it's so outrageous! You make me feel so high! All the time! They all say that you're no good for me, but I'm too close to turn arou-ou-ound! I'll show them they don't know anything! I think I got ya figured out! So I walk out in silence, that's when I start to realize what you bring to my li-ife! Damn this guy can make me smi-i-ile! It's so contagious! I cannot get it out of my mind--it's so outrageous! You make me feel so hi-igh! All the time!" they sang and when they finished, they all burst out into laughter. "I dedicate that number to my southern baby Tallahassee!" yelled Roanoke and running up to glomp Tallahassee. Tallahassee grabbed her and swung her around in circles. She laughed and ran back over to the front of the stage.**

**"Someone having a concert without us?" came a voice from the side curtain. They all turned on their heels and brought out their guns. "Relax, it's just us." The hidden individuals came out and Roanoke passed out again. "THE BLACK EYED PEAS!" yelled the girls and the boys just stood there a bit unfazed.**

_Little Rock and Wichita jumped up and down and let out small screams while Roanoke was still passed out on the stage while Tallahassee stared at her, smirking while the Columbus just stared at the other girls blankly. Fergie then walked over to Roanoke and kicked her in the side, sending her flying in the air. "Holy crap! Was it true? There are rock stars in heaven?" Fergie narowed her eyes. "What?" She smirked. Roanoke shook her head, at that, Tallahassee helped her up. Little Rock was standing there, staring at the singers. Will. I. Am turned to her and snapped his fingers, Little Rock came out of her daze and blinked. "Whoa! You're- I mean- I- I mean... You rock!" Will. I. Am chuckled and high-fived her. "Never washing this hand again." She mumbled to herself. Fergie interrupted everyone. "Guys! So, do you wanna sing with us or what?" Everyone yelled. "Hell yeah!" The band and the girls got on the stage and started singing 'Boom Boom Pow'. Fergie got to her slow solo. "People in the place, if you wanna get dow-wn, put your ha-ands in the air, Will. I. Am drop a beat now!"_

_here's my cut of the chapter! =)_

_"I'd be rockin' them beats, yup yup, I'd be rockin' them beats, yup yup y-yup, yup yup. Here we go, here we go satelite radio, y'all gettin' hit with the boom, beats so big i'll be steppin' on leprechauns, ya'll gettin' hit with the boom, y'all gettin' hit with the boom, y'all gettin' hit with the-" At that, Columbus yelled. "ZOMBIES ARE ATTACKING THE GATES!" When everyone stopped Roanoke sweared. "You gotta be kidding me!" Then, The Black Eyed Peas stopped. "Sorry guys, we gotta split. Nice meeting you dudes!" Fergie yelled running off. Avril stood there then took a piece of gum out of her pocket. The five looked at her. "I have nothing better to do, you can go on and leave me here." Roanoke scoffed. "Hell no! The greatest singer on earth is not being left here to die! You're coming with us!" Avril stopped and looked at Roanoke. "Are you serious?" She had a serious look on her face then Roanoke crossed her arms. "Do I look like I'm joking?" Tallahassee smirked. "Cabbage head never jokes Lavigne! When she's serious... She's serious!" Little Rock chuckled. "Yeah! Come on Avril! Roanoke just got me to like you and she was so totally right about you being the best singer ever! Waaayyy better than Miley Cyrus!" Roanoke chuckled and so did Avril. "Thanks Little Rock, but, anyone could be better than that little scum-bag, no offence to you if you like her." Avril ruffled Little Rocks hair. "None taken!"_

**"Let's go!" yelled Columbus. "Shut your frikkin face, Columbus! You always gotta ruin the climax of the story! God! So anyway, let's go!" said Roanoke, grabbing Avril by the arm and running off the stage with the others on their heels. Zombies began to swarm into the concert hall and the gang began to pump their legs so hard they felt like they were flying. "Almost to the van!" yelled Wichita. Just then, Avril tripped up and fell on the asphalt. "AVRIL!" screamed Roanoke. (Just so you know, at this part, everything would be played in slow motion and sappy music would be playing in the background.) Roanoke ran back and knelt down to Avril on the ground. "Come on, Avril, we can still make it!"**

**"I can't go on, go on without me, I'll be okay."**

**"I can't leave you Avril, not after all that's happened."**

**"It's okay, --"**

**"Alright, come on, let's go!" Tallahassee cut in, grabbing Roanoke by the arm. (cue the sound of a record being stopped abruptly) "Avril!" yelled Roanoke as she was dramatically dragged away to the van. She saw Avril being swarmed by zombies and she screamed. "Stfu!" yelled Columbus, getting everyone's attention, they all looked at him like he was crazy. "What did you just say to me?" asked everyone but Columbus in unison. "I said... I'll go make fruit stew..." said Columbus, staring at his feet, scared of all four of them. "That's what I thought you said." snorted Roanoke, hopping into the van. Wichita drove and they sped off to God-doesn't-even-want-to-know-anymore.**

**An hour later, Roanoke was still sulking in her spot by the window. "It's okay, Cabbage patch, she was probably gonna die eventually anyway." reassured Tallahassee. Roanoke grunted. Tallahassee had a thoughtful yet playful look on his face. "Will this make it better?" he asked, leaning in and kissing her deeply. Roanoke's eyes widened but she went along with it. He pulled back and grinned. She smiled. "Yeah, I think it might." she said, and they continued to make out. Wichita rolled her eyes, Little Rock made a face and Columbus was sniggering from the front. "Let's go to Pizza Hut or something." said Little Rock. "There's no one to make the pizza." said Columbus. "True." Roanoke pulled apart from Florida. "As long as it isn't a mall, a water park, a zoo or a concert... I'm cool."**

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**Well, I hope you liked it! please review! We take requests and recommendations! love you guys!**


	5. NAZA

**Hi, guys, Slytherin Queen 1.30 here! I hope you enjoy this chapter! lol! Lot's of stuff go boom! Please review!**

**Also, stuff that I wrote is in bold... **

_**Stuff that AbigailBreslinRocks13 wrote is in italics!**_

**We don't own anything! I do own Roanoke though... **

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Zombieland: Total Insanity

NAZA: National Aeronautics and Zombie Administration

**"Omg! No way! It's NASA! I always wanted to go to this jank!" shouted Wichita, pressing her face up against the window of the van. "Oh no! We are NOT going to NASA! Okay? I have a phobia of--"**

**"We know, we know!" shouted everyone else in unison at Columbus. Columbus huffed and crossed his arms. "Let's go!" shouted Little Rock. They all hopped out of the van and they broke through the gates to the high-tech rocket sciencey place.**

**They all ran to a testing center and played with all of the equipment. "Turning on the zero-gravity... now!" yelled Tallahassee as he flicked a lever and the other four inside the gravity training room began to float into the air. The girls were laughing and Columbus was being... Columbus. "Whoo-hoo! This is so awesome!" yelled Little Rock, kicking off of a wall and gliding to the other side of the padded room. Wichita giggled as she bounced from the ceiling to the floor. Roanoke tossed her head back and laughed when she saw Tallahassee walk in, his hat began to float off of his head and he grabbed for it. Roanoke swam through the air towards Tallahassee. She kissed him lightly on the lips and he smirked. "Wonder what it would be like to have some fun in here." he stated, rubbing his chin. "Twelve year old in the room!" screeched Wichita. Roanoke chuckled at Little Rock's clueless face, if she didn't know, she didn't see what the problem was but hey, it was Wichita's sister.**

_Little Rock shrugged and started to spin herself around in mid-air. Wichita rolled her eyes and shook her head at the two 'love birds' below them. "If you want to make love don't injure yourselves doing it in mid-air!" She yelled. Roanoke smirked and looked at Tallahassee who started to slowly float above her. "Hey! Don' go flyling off now! We were just having fun!" She started to swim after him. "I KNOW!" Yelled Little Rock. "LET'S PLAY TAG!" Columbus widened his eyes as Little Rock shot him a glance. He tried swimming down to the exit but Little Rock flew over to a wall and pushed herself as hard as she could to make her glide straight into Columbus. She glided straight past her sister and past Tallahassee and Roanoke. "Wow. Where's the midget going?" Tallahassee called. "What did you--" Before Little Rock could finish her sentence, she banged straight into Columbus which made them go tumbling and spinning at full pelt straight out the door. The three floating companions that were left heard a crash followed by crying. Wichita cursed under her breath and started to swim to the exit door. When she got out of the room she found the two in a ball under space suits. Columbus started groaning and Wichita ran over to them, she found that the person who was crying wasn't her little sister, but her boyfriend. "Columbus are you... Are you, crying?" Columbus shot up. "No." He coughed. Little Rock then made an arch in her back and started laughing. "That was friggen' awesome! I have to do that again!" Wichita chuckled and wrapped her arm around her little sister. "I don't think so sis. We don't want Columbus to cry again. Little Rock smiled then ran off around the corner. Tallahassee and Roanoke then followed after the three youngest to God-Is-Just-Getting-Sick-Of-Trying-To-Figure-Out-Where._

**Next, the gang found themselves in a control room and everyone just had to enjoy themselves by pressing every button, flipping every switch, and pulling every lever. Roanoke spotted a huge red button sitting on the wall and she thought for a moment. "Hey, Tal! Should I press this button that says, 'do not press'?" she asked. Tallahassee made his trademark, 'hell yes' face. "Yeah!" he responded. Roanoke stuck her tongue out to the side and pressed the button with one finger. They then heard a huge explosion from a ways away in the distance. They didn't know what it was but they all froze. They waited another awkward moment before Tallahassee and Roanoke's faces lit up. "Aaaaaaaaaawwwesome!" they cheered, high-fiving each other and running off to press more buttons. Wichita pressed a button and blue flashing lights began to go off. "Code blue. Code blue. Code blue." said a computer's voice from above. The gang froze again and Wichita glanced around out of the corners of her eyes. "WHAT THE FREAK'S A CODE BLUE?" she hollered at no particular person. "I'm just spit-balling here, but I think we should go...." said Roanoke. "Good idea." said Columbus, and the gang fled the room as quickly as they entered.**

**Later, in another high-techy room....**

**"I'm tellin' you, that's bull." said Roanoke. "Nuh-uh!" protested Wichita. "It is not true if you say 'Macbeth', bad stuff will happen!"**

**"I so!"**

**"Tal!" Roanoke stomped her foot on the ground. "I don't even know, so don't ask me, he said, messing with some computers.**

**"If you say 'Macbeth', bad stuff will happen!"**

**"You just frikkin' said 'Macbeth'!"**

**"Crap... I did."**

**"See, what'd I tell you, it's retarded! Now, I'm going to go find a rocket I can blow up."**

**"Ooh! I'm coming too!" yelled Florida and Arkansas in unison.**

**The group ran out to a rocket and Wichita proceeded with curiosity. "I wonder how you open the door." she mused. "Gee, I dunno, there's a big button right here that says 'open hatch', gosh, I wonder what that does." teased Tallahassee, lazily pressing the button. The door opened and the gang stared in awe.**

_Roanoke slowly pointed inside the rocket and made her mouth into an 'O' shape. "Ohhhh..... It's pretty... I want to touch it!" She ran inside the rocket and the gang followed, Wichita looked all around her. "Holy crap... This place is blinged out!" The rocket wasn't just an ordinary rocket... It was gold on the inside. Little Rock then broke an awkward silence. "My God this is friggen' cool! Who wudda' thought that a space rocket would be gold on the inside?" Tallahassee smirked. "What if this isn't an ordinary space place..." Everybody looked at him with narrowed eyes. "What I mean is... What if it's Mr.T's... You never know, there could be a stash of Snikers in the back." Roanoke burst out laughing and Little Rock followed. "Oh! I get it!" Wichita shrugged. "Oh what the hell?" She joined in laughing as well. Leaving Columbus to be... Columbus. He looked quite curiously around the rocket and looked at the cameras and buttons, being sure not to touch anything. Little Rock ran into a surviellance room and looked at all the cameras. She saw a camera that had blurs moving around it. She narrowed her eyes then widened them, getting an idea of what the blurs were. "Wichita..." She said wearily. Wichita came running into the room. "What's wrong?" Little Rock pointed at the camera screen. She looked at it and realised what they were. "O-ohhhh-ho.... Crap." _

_The two sisters then heard Tallahassee scream "NO! DON'T PRESS THAT!" Roanoke started giggling then all of a sudden, the five heard something that sounded like engines. Columbus whimpered and Little Rock and Wichita ran into the room the other three were in. Wichita yelled. "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU DO?" Tallahassee pointed at Roanoke to which Roanoke gave a huffy face. Then, they felt like they were going... Up? Tallahassee looked out the hatch and saw that the rocket they were in was going up. "Oh s**t." Little Rock rolled her eyes. "What?" She then looked out the hatch as well. "Death by rocket... Hmm... Never saw that coming." She stated walking backwards. "WHAT?" Yelled Wichita. She also looked out the hatch. "WELL DON'T JUST STAND HERE! JUMP THE HELL OUT!" Tallahassee took the lead and jumped out, landing on his two feet. Roanoke then followed, the distance getting longer and higher. Wichita then Columbus followed and when it was time for Little Rock to jump, she was pretty high up. "I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die." She said to herself. "COME ON MIDGET! JUMP! I'LL CATCH YA!" Little Rock looked down at Tallahassee with a raised eyebrow. "That re-assures me, none what-so-ever." Wichita then shouted up to her. "Just jump sis! You'll be fine! Just think of--" Wichita was interrupted by the sounds of screaming zombies. Then the four looked up at Little Rock with wide eyes. "JUMP JUMP JUMP! HURRY THE EFF UP!" Little Rock backed away. "Screw this bull!" She ran and jumped and Tallahassee caught her. "Nice stunt kid. Just don't take so long next time." Arkansas rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah." Then zombies started piling into the room. Roanoke looked at Tallahassee, then Columbus yelled. "I'm getting outta' here!" Roanoke followed. "I'm way ahead of ya!" The others ran on, after Columbus and Tallahassee was still holding Little Rock. The youngest yelled. "RUN FORREST RUN!"_

**Everyone hauled ass out of NASA with zombies on their tails. "Tell me again why we keep going places?" yelled Tallahassee. "To pass time and break rules that dont' exist anymore?" suggested Roanoke. The gang ran around the complex base, losing only a couple of zombies on the way. "Cuz it's a thrilla! Thrilla night! And no one's gonna save ya from--!"**

**"No one's gonna save you if you don't stop singin' freakin' Michail Jackson!" snapped Wichita to Roanoke who made a pouty face. "Can I sing Christmas carols?" she asked. "Hell no! And why would you want to!" Roanoke shrugged. Wichita shook her head and Roanoke smirked. "JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!"**

**"Stfu, Roanoke!" Roanoke shut up and they continued to run. "Does anyone have any idea where we are or where we're going?" Little Rock asked, who was still in Tallahassee's arms. "I don't know my way around NASA!" Roanoke screamed in dispair. "Hold on! Get in there!" yelled Tallahassee, pointing at one of those high-speed pod things that prepair astronauts for space. The gang hopped in, half in one pod, the other half in the other. The machine began to spin around and around as fast as light itself. Columbus was getting very dizzy and he clutched Wichita tightly while she just laughed maniacally. Roanoke was leaning on Tallahassee and the both of them were laughing even more evilly than Wichita. To Little Rock, it just felt like another roller coaster.**

**Thankfully, the zombies were stupid enough to walk out in front of the pods and the testing machine sent them flying. Blood and bile splattered all over the room and soon all the zombies were wiped out due to their own stupidity.**

**The test ended and the gang climbed out of their pods. Columbus fell to his knees but got right back up again because the guts on the floor were gross. Roanoke was stumbling around clumsily and Tallahassee claimed that the room was spinning. Wichita kept giggling and Little Rock had to lean on a spot on the wall that wasn't covered in blood. "Well, remind me not to go in one of those things again." said Roanoke. "Why are there ten of you?" asked Columbus, pointing at the ceiling. Wichita shook her head slowly and trudged to the door.**

**The gang eventually got out of NASA alive and Tallahassee was literally kissing the van when they got out. "Now I know why no one works at NASA. They're either too stupid or too smart." mused Roanoke, crawling into the passenger's seat. "I'm not going to space... ever... I'm not going to NASA again... ever." Columbus said to himself. "Let's just go." said Wichita. "I like movies."**

**"I'm sure you do, Columbus." Wichita felt pretty bad for her boyfriend, he wasn't really up for these sort of things and they just ignored his wide range of phobias.... oh well.**

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Well, I hope you guys liked that! Please review and give AbigailBreslinRocks13 a visit too! She deserves tons of credit! Anyway, if you can guess where the gang's going in the next chapter, you get a cookie... a virtual one... but it's still a cookie... bye! Please review!


	6. Sandy Trouble

Hi, you guys, Slytherin Queen 1.30 here and I just realize we people here at ff tend to have really long usernames... anywho, enjoy the holy chapter!

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Zombieland: Total Insanity

Sandy Trouble

"Beach hooo!" yelled Roanoke, popping up through the sun roof and pointing towards the beach. "Yeah, that's what you are." commented Tallahassee. Roanoke stuck her tongue out at him and kicked him in the head. "Ouch! Watch it, Cabbage patch! Your butt is right in my face, imagine what I-"

"Twelve-year-ol-"

"-D in the car, we know, we know!" griped Florida and Roanoke. Wichita rolled her eyes and pulled up to the parking lot. "Hey! No cars!" exclaimed Little Rock.

"Yeah, don't think anyone's plannin' on going to the beach when zombies are coming out of the woodwork!" Tallahassee nodded and got out of the car, along with the others. "First off, bathing suits. Let's move it!" the girls grabbed their suits and headed for a pinstripe changing tent. Tallahassee just stripped right there in the parking lot and slipped his black swimming trunks on. Columbus just fiddled with his double-barrel. "Aren't you goin' swimmin', Spit-**?"

"Well, whales and fishes and stuff... y'know... in that wide, open range of water, and there's salt, which doesn't taste so good, and fish lay eggs in that water, and-"

"Columbus?"

"Yeah?"

"No. One. Cares."

"... Good to know, Tallahassee, you are so encouraging... and we just went to a hazardous water park, don't you think we've had enough of water?"

Tallahassee shook his head. "We never came to a beach before Columbo... Just a water park... Come on perm head. Enjoy yourself just this once." Tallahassee ran downto the sand and waited for the girls. Columbus leaned up against the van for a couple of minutes and watched the others play in the water. "Oh to hell with this." He mumbled to himself. He rolled up his jeans and took off his hoodie. He jogged down to the sand and called to the others. "Is it cold?" Little Rock ran up to him. "You tell us." She pulled him into the water and pushed him down. He let out a small yelp but shortly after, he started to laugh. Wichita ran up behind Little Rock and lifted her which made her scream. She then got dropped head-first into the water. She came back up coughing. "MY MOUTH WAS OPEN!" She started spitting and gagging. "I swear I'm gonna' kick your butt sis." Wichita stuck out her tongue and they both started chasing after each other. Then when Roanoke was standing in the water, scanning the horizon, Tallahassee snuck up behind her and lifted her, with her top half of her body doen Tallahassee's back. She started punching him in the back. "Let me go! Let me go! Tallahassee-" Tallahassee then stopped messing with her and looked at her. Roanoke looked back up at him with wide eyes. "Don't. You. Dare." Tallahassee then loosened his grip on her legs and let her slip a little bit. Roanoke screamed. He did it again, making her scream louder as her face came more and more closer to the water. "IF YOU'RE GONNA' DROP ME JUST HURRY UP AND DO IT!" She yelled. But Tallahassee didn't drop her... He threw her back over his shoulder and literally threw her into the water. Roanoke went flying through the air, screaming the whole way. "TALLAHASSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She dropped face first in the water to which all the others just stopped and stared at Tallahassee. Tallahassee looked at Little Rock with eyes as if to say 'you're next'. Little Rock looked at her sister then yelled. "I am outta' here!" Wichita then agreed. "I'm with ya!" Roanoke then came up from the water and saw the two girls running. She called after them. "RUN FORREST RUN!"

The girls ran out of the water as fast as they could and Roanoke stayed in the water. Columbus saw a huge wave coming up behind her and gasped. "Roanoke! Look out!" he yelled to the green-haired girl. Roanoke turned around to face a huge wall of water, crashing down on her. She screamed and was sucked under. Tallahassee dove in and grabbed Roanoke. He pulled her up and they both gasped for air. They were both panting and Tallahassee looked her in the eyes. "You okay?" he asked. "Yeah, but I now know how my socks in the wash feel." she joked. Tallahassee turned to walk away but caught a glimpse of something, or rather, nothing. He gaped at Roanoke for a minute before shaking his head, although, being a guy, he couldn't help but peek. Since Tallahassee decided not to say anything about it, Columbus was more humble and spoke up. "Uh... Roanoke?"

"Yeah?"

"Your, uh..." Columbus pointed to his chest and Roanoke looked down at her own and screamed. She brought her arms up and hugged herself before dunking herself in the water to hide it more. "Tallahassee! This is all your fault!"

"What? How is it my fault!"

"I don't know! I have to blame it on somebody!" Roanoke wailed. "Help me find my top, somebody!" she pleaded. "It's probably long gone in the tide by now, Ro, might as well give up!" said Wichita from the shore. "Argh! No! Help me find it!" she protested. Wichita rolled her eyes and went to help her friend look for the lime green top. After a few minutes of fortunate looking, Roanoke was lucky to find her top washed up on the shore, she tied it back on, (about five miles away from Tallahassee) and went back to having fun with the group, when she returned though, she didn't expect to find a ten foot tall sand mansion that Talla and Lil' Rock had skillfully built.

Roanoke walked up to it. "Wow. You guys made this?" Little Rock jumped out from behind it. "Yup! With my creativity skills... And Tallahassee's crafting skills... We built it together... You like it?" Roanoke nodded still staring at it. "Wow." Columbus and Wichita then followed after Roanoke. "My god." They both said together, staring at the castle. Wichita butted in. "I'm not asking." She turned to her sister. "How about..." Everyone looked at her with interested eyes. But instead, she walked over to her sister and whispered in her ear. At this, Little Rock was smiling and laughing and then said, "Yeah let's do it!" Nodding like mad. Tallahassee shrugged and ran up to the truck and brought out a tire and rope. Columbus tilted his head. "What's that for?" Tallahassee rolled his eyes and started tying the rope onto the tire. "It's going to be a little... Toy." He winked at Columbus leaving him stunned. Tallahassee called Roanoke down to the water and she accepted. Little Rock and Wichita were left with Columbus. Little Rock nodded and Wichita went over to Columbus and started talking to him and distracting him so Little Rock could prepare for the joke. She got a bucket of sand and shells and water and mixed them together. She then ran up to the truck and searched for some supplies that they might have picked up on the way. She found, dye, rotten eggs and expired milk. She smelled them and shuddered. "Perfect." She mixed all of the goo and gadgets in with the sand shells and water and the mixture ended up disgraceful, but perfect. She then walked down to her sister and Columbus. "Hey Columbus." She said in a cute voice. "Hi Little Rock."

"So I was wondering. Would you lend me your digital camera for a minute so I can take a picture of something really funny?"

"Ummm, Yeah I guess so." Columbus took the camera out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Thanks.

"It's okay. But, what's so funny?" Little Rock smirked as well as her sister. "Well, if you really have to ask..." Columbus shrugged and had a small smile on his face. Little Rock pointed to her sister where the bucket was left. Wichita ran over and got it, brought it back to them and Little Rock gave her the thumbs up. "THIS IS!" Wichita dumped the mixture over Columbus and Little Rock took a picture of his priceless face. The sisters ended up laughing their heads off, but Columbus was completly and utterly grossed out and still shocked. "I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PURELL FOR ALL THIS!" He shouted and ran off to the Hummer, leaving the girls to laugh it up.

Meanwhile, in the water, Tallahassee was dragging Roanoke around, her sitting on the tire and him pulling the rope. She was giggling until something hit her foot. She froze, it was smooth... and it moved. "Talla..."

"Yeah?" Roanoke freaked out. "Talla, something just hit my leg." Tallahassee rolled his eyes. "Probably just a shell er a fish er somethin', don't worry about it." he shrugged it off. He continued to pull her along until Roanoke saw a fin stick up out of the water and dive back down. Roanoke leaped over the tire and grabbed onto Tallahassee. "What the-"

"There's something in the water, can we please, please, please get out!" Roanoke pleaded. Tallahassee rolled his eyes but did as she said. As they were walking to the shore, Roanoke was pulled down into the water. "Roanoke!" yelled Tallahassee, diving in after her. He looked around in the water, not seeing much, but searching frantically for the green-haired girl. He arose to the surface for air and dove back down, he repeated the act again and he didn't know what to do, but when he saw Roanoke riding a dolphin, his heart came back down from his throat.

"Woo-hoooo! This is awesome! I never knew dolphins were so social!" yelled Roanoke. The others from the shore were laughing and smiling at the sight.

"Dolphins have tons of germs, Roanoke, you-"

"Columbus?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you know the drill by now."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll shut up." he groaned. Wichita and Little Rock laughed.

Later..back at the sand fortress...

"Omg! You built furniture too!" squealed Roanoke, jumping onto a sand sofa that didn't even collapse a bit. "Yep, I know, we're awesome." said Tallahassee. "So how did the dolphin pull you under earlier anyway?"

"Oh, it brushed up against me... I fell." Roanoke mumbled with a grin. "I know I scared you." Tallahassee rolled his eyes. "I was only concerned." he stated. "Uh-huh, right." said Roanoke sarcastically. "Come on, Tallahassee, you were on the verge of tears." laughed Little Rock, sitting in a sand armchair. Tallahassee blushed. "Was not!" he protested, climbing a sand ladder to the upstairs platform. "Whatever, I gotta say, you guys, I'm seriously impressed. This castle, is a mansion!" said Wichita. "Thank you!" said Tallahassee and Little Rock in unison. Roanoke followed Tallahassee upstairs, leaving the others downstairs to do whatever. She saw him looking out a square hole in the wall; a sand window. She walked over beside him and wrapped her arms around his arm.

"Y'know, I'm amazed at how the world can be so beautiful at times, even though the world is ruined." she said, breaking the silence. Tallahassee nodded. "You want to go to the boardwalk?" he asked. Roanoke nodded eagerly and they both scaled down the castle from the window and they jogged to the boardwalk.

"What are they doing up there?" asked Wichita. "Three guesses." said Columbus, rubbing his head. Little Rock grinned evilly and grabbed her camera. "Sis, seriously?" Wichita asked her sister. Little Rock nodded. Wichita shrugged. "Okay." she said, grinning from ear to ear. The two crept upstairs to find nobody there. "Where are-"

"Look!" Little Rock shouted, pointing towards the board walk. The two were walking down the stretch of wood, holding hands and gently swinging them back and forth. "Aww, they're so cute!... Let's go ruin the moment." said Little Rock, putting the camera cord in her mouth and climbing down the castle. Wichita followed. On their way to the board walk, they stayed in the shadows of the trees, so not to be seen.

Roanoke and Tallahassee got to the end of the board walk. Tallahassee wrapped his arm around Roanoke's waist and she leaned into him. She looked up to him and he pulled her closer. They kissed and Little Rock jumped up and took a picture. "Aww! How sweet!" she exclaimed. Roanoke glared daggers at Little Rock and sprinted towards her. "Give me the camera!" she yelled. Little Rock ran. "Never! Mwahahaha!"

Little Rock ran and dodged the tree's and bushes, running into a forest type place, still on the beach. Roanoke then stopped for a minute and thought 'is it worth it?' then she heard a scream. "Apparently so." She sprinted in and saw Little Rock caught half-way between a really fat zombie and a tree. "Little Rock!" Little Rock didn't move her head from staring at the zombie, as it was staring back at her, like both of them thinking, 'whose going to plunge first?' Little Rock then calmly said. "H-Hurry." The zombie growled and screamed at Little Rock's movement. She closed her eyes and moved her head down a bit so she was looking at the ground and not the black bile that was now spewing from the zombie's mouth. When she looked up again, the zombie was still staring at her, but all of a sudden, she saw Roanoke silently creeping up behind and jabbing a knife straight into its head. The zombie screamed and fell to the ground. Little Rock widened her mouth. "Jeez!" She then got over the winning kill. "Thanks." Roanoke nodded. "No problem. Now..." She put her hand on Little Rock's shoulder. "Give me the camera." Little Rock narrowed her eyes and was about to run away. She then widened her eyes and went silent then pointed behind Roanoke. "W-What's that?" Roanoke furrowed her eyebrows and looked behind her. At that, Little Rock sprinted laughing. "Haaahhaaa!" Roanoke cursed herself. "Dammit! Get's me every time! Especially coming from that cutsie 13-year-old!" She came out of her daze and followed the young girl into the sand mansion.

Little Rock ran past a making out, Wichita and Columbus and up the stairs. When Roanoke got to the bottom of the stairs, she sighed. "Remind me why they put stairs in here." Motioning her head towards Wichita, who shrugged. She sighed again and climbed up the stairs. Little Rock was nowhere to be seen, so Roanoke did what she did best. Snuck around as quiet as possible. She checked a couple of the sand rooms, (strange I know, but there were some there!) When she gave up, She slid down the wall and sat down to catch her breath. All of a sudden, Tallahassee came walking out of a weird room that actually had two rooms in one, with Little Rock in one arm and the camera cord in her mouth. "Looking for this?" He chuckled. Little Rock growled, but couldn't talk 'cause the camera would fall. Roanoke then smiled then smiled and tried prying the cord out of Little Rock's teeth, but the grip was getting tighter and tighter. "Screw that Tallahassee! Come on, we have better things to do!" Roanoke exclaimed. Tallahassee smirked then winked at her and set Little Rock down. Little Rock widened her eyes and smiled. "Perfect." She followed them down the stairs and sat on a sand seat so they wouldn't know what the hell she was doing. The two walked up to the Hummer and Little Rock followed, hiding behind a tree. When she was getting the camera ready to take a picture, Tallahassee and Roanoke came right up to her. Little Rock saw feet and looked up. The two had kept the water guns from the water park. They pointed at her and Little Rock gave a small laugh. "Heh heh, come on guys. We're all in this fight for life together right?" Roanoke shook her head and Tallahassee smiled. "Prepare to get wet!" Little Rock made her mouth into a small 'o'. "Uh oh." The two squirted freezing cold water on her and she screamed running away. "AHHHHOOOOHHHH! Cold! Cold! Cold!" Roanoke and Tallahassee chuckled. When they were about to walked off. Roanoke stopped Tallahassee. "Hey, Tallahassee?"

"Yeah?"

"About the kiss earlier..." Tallahassee blushed. "Uhmm, yeah?"

"Pretty awesome." Roanoke winked at him. Tallahassee smirked and walked off with her holding her hand. Roanoke smiled 'best day ever.' She thought to herself.

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Slyth Queen: aaww, i just adore moments like that! especially with my ofcs! lol! they make such a cute couple, and if you're not too familiar with Roaoke, read Zombieland: Cherish What's Left Over, written by me! Drop me and AbigailBreslinRocks13 a message/review! we also take requests and recommendations (if we approve) Thanks for reading!


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